Sometimes, relationships just don’t work out.
You’ve done everything you can to make it work, but one way or another, that’s just the way the tortilla chips crumble.
Because you’re a considerate person, you’re not going to end things via text or email (or Snapchat). No, you’re going to do this in person. We repeat: You’re going to do this in person.
Somewhere crowded would be good. Somewhere casual and calming. And you might as well eat while you’re there. (You know where we’re going with this, right?)
Here’s why Fuzzy’s Taco Shops are the perfect break-up spots:
There are a lot of people around.
Like we mentioned earlier, a crowded restaurant is a classic choice for a break-up scene, because, well, it’s less likely to become a scene. Take your future ex to Fuzzy’s and blend into the crowd. If there’s yelling involved, you may be lucky enough for it to pass as reactions to whatever sporting event is playing on our TVs.
“How could you?!”
“Is this it?!”
“Aw, give me a break!”
Tacos make everything better.
Break-ups are hard. Depending on how long you’ve been together, really hard. That’s why it’s a good idea to have something handy for that fateful moment. Tacos, for instance, tend to make every situation better.
Think about it: You’ve just been dumped. You hang your head in sadness. But wait! What’s this? A taco? Oh, nice. [Distracted.] This isn’t so bad.
Let’s be friends.
Stuff your mouth to buy time.
Break-ups can be pretty lengthy, as a lot of things often need to be said. Sometimes you need some time to think about the right thing to say. Here’s your perfect excuse:
Nachos all up in your mouth.
She’ll/he’ll be thinking you’re just properly chewing your food, while really you’re trying to think of how to politely say, “It’s not me, it’s you.”
You can get a drink immediately afterward.
The phase after a break-up is really a time to mourn the relationship. Nothing goes better with mourning than a margarita or beer, which, coincidentally, you can get at Fuzzy’s.
Get your dinner, break up, say your goodbyes and then sulk over to the bar and order a soothing beverage from one of our team members. We’re here for you.
So, remember, if you absolutely, posit-tutely HAVE to break up, Fuzzy’s is a pretty good spot to do it. But only if you really, really must. We don’t want to be known as the break-up spot, you know? That might depress our other guests.
But regardless of your relationship status, you’re never going to want to break up with tacos. That’s one more happy ending and one less break-up for you—and us—to endure.