For most people, eating tacos is elementary. But at Fuzzy’s Taco Shop, most of our guests have their PhDs (Phuzzy’s Doctorate) in taco eating, or at least an MBA (Mexican Burrito Appreciation). But for some, it doesn’t come as easy. That’s okay; we’re not here to judge.
Some kids just didn’t learn the important lessons in life, like balancing a checkbook, driving a stick shift or properly applying Fuzzy’s Butt Burnin’ Sauce to their taco. We think we need to tackle this problem head on with a little education.
That’s right, a rigorous academic course that teaches everything the youth need to know about proper taco consumption. Here’s a sneak peek at what our Taco 101 course might cover:
How to order
You don’t just plow through the doors and barrel your way to the register, no sir-ee. Chances are, you’ll be met with what’s called a “line,” one of the most complex microcosms in the human race. You can distract yourself with your smartphones and your e-watches, but it’s in your best interest to pay attention to the workings of the line. If it moves, you move.
Once you’re getting close to the front, scan the menu to determine what you want. You’ll want to time your order perfectly when you’re up to bat. It’s a science.
Be specific with your order. Be assertive (but not bossy). We want you to have it the way you want it, so don’t be shy.
How to eat/hold
Hold your taco with a firm grip, but not too firm or you’ll end up squeezing out the innards. Hold it like you’re holding a hamster. You don’t want to strangle it, but you also don’t want it scampering off.
It’s important to pay attention to the shift of ingredients within your taco so that none come tumbling out. It’s okay to move from end to end on each bite. This isn’t a beauty pageant; it’s a taco pageant. Seems simple enough, but this truly is a lesson in science and art.
How to behave in Fuzzy’s
We want our guests to be laid-back, fun loving and even a little goofy from time to time. Sitting with friends or family and chowing down on your favorite tacos should be a relaxing experience. Our tacos are meant to bring happiness, and it’s our hope that these good feelings get spread around Fuzzy’s Taco Shop and beyond.
These are just a few tidbits from the proposed curriculum for Taco 101. Each student who completes the course will get us one step closer to a taco-loving world.
Until that day, come get your PhD or MBA at a Fuzzy’s Taco Shop near you.
